Lockdown Conversations : Lucky Me!

Covid phase mein kai baar aisa hua ki hausla toota, mera aur mere doston ka bhi. Ab toh 3 se bhi zyada mahine ho chukey hain ki hum is problem mein hai, main bhool bhi gaya hoon ki mera ya mere dost ka pehla breakdown kab hua tha. 

Its happening a lot these days, when someone is spiraling down to being stuck and not willing to untangle things. I have been talking to many people and I hear this a lot, 

" Nahin ho raha hai yaar"

 " Main pakk gaya hoon "

 " Mujhe kaam chahiye"

 " Aur kitne din ghar pe baithna padega "

 " Ho Jaye toh ho jaye" 

I am sure aapke dost aur aap bhi khud pareshaan honge is helplessness se. People are losing hope. Everyday we hear atleast one terrible news that shakes us. Also literal shaky earthquake news is around the corner. There's not much to be motivate about around us. True! Main khud kai baar blank out ho jaata hoon ki bhai ye chal kya raha hai.

Pehle mujhe laga ki sirf freelancers dukhi hain

But I know people who are working from home and I often tell them 

" How lucky are you ! Being Busy is amazing"

Trust me 

Ye work from home wale toh alag level pe dukhi hain.

Maine kai logon se baat ki hai, kuch maan gaye, kuch nahin maane. If I trust my observations, people are looking for reasons to get sad. Maine kai baar unko bola bhi hai aisa same, aur usi same din pe main dara bhi hoon, ki ye kuch zyada ho gaya. When a person is down usko daant lagana, us pe chillana is not the solution. Par mere saath aisa kai baar hua where I lost my patience and was fed up of explaining my friends to look at the brighter side of things and they used to be like " Boss ! there is no brighter side to this"

That's when I realized ki main kisi ko bhi ek hadhdh tak hi samjha sakta hoon ya help kar sakta hoon.

I used to become very mean to them, saying things like

"Look around you ! People are dying of hunger, people don't have a roof to sleep under, people are not getting beds in hospitals, what the hell are you crying about? Consider yourself Lucky that you are living comfortably, your landlord is not an asshole, people are thrown out of their rented apartments and jobs, What are you crying about? So ja chup chaap! Roz naya natak leke aa rahe ho"

After this high toned screaming session I used to legit get scared for them and repeat the same in slow motion with a lot of "Hmm?" " Are you getting me ?" " I hope kuch khaya hai " and then ultimately suggesting them this 

" See, if its getting too difficult for you, please seek professional help"

Yes

Kaafi logon ko ye suggest kiya hai maine 

Not because I was fed up

But because I knew I couldn't help them further and who am I to help anyway? Main khud kai baar atak jaata hoon ye sochte sochte ki aagey kya hone wala hai 

And its absolutely alright to seek help

Those are learned people who know exactly how to untangle you 

How do I know this?

Because know people who have recovered and I myself got sorted with professional help. And you know what's the best part? That these people are helping people Online too.

So there might be a fair chance to conclude that If there have been less breakdowns in Lockdown Era. Its because these people are talking it out with the needful.

These people who?

These people : Psychologists,Therapists,Shrinks,Counselors. Stan Lipschitz from Suits or Shahrukh from Dear Zindagi 

Ye sab toh theek hai 

"Main kaise survive kar gaya yaar?" Main khud aisa sochne baitha ek din 

Tab my sister called me and she's like " Balcony mein aa jaldi" ( She stays in the same society)

Toh 1st instinct after an urgent call is " Meri buri phatt gayi"

Main daudke balcony mein gaya toh superb wala blue sky, white clouds, random textures.

Maine usko balcony se ishara kiya aur phone pe chillaya " Kya hai ? Dara diya mujhe"

She's like " Wo dekh!" (Pointing finger towards the sky)

That's when I noticed. There was this small tiny area in the right side of that sky scene which was not just blue and white.

"RAINBOW" 🌈

Now technically speaking, I am 30+ years in age. My sister is 25+. Her in-laws are 50+

Toh rainbow dekhke hum sab ek jitna hi excite aur pagal kyun hue ?

May be because all this natural beauty is an instant recall to our childhood, how? because tabhi hum kaafi velle the to observe all this.

May be because we have aged, sky is the same ? 

Okay Sky has changed too.. May be because Rainbows are visible once in a while, that's why this level of excitement

Or 

May be because today we have the time to appreciate it, which in usual life, would've been impossible at 4pm on a weekday. 

So that's the brighter side to being at home and this lockdown. Yay!

Mazey ki baat pata hai kya hai?

Wo koi itna bada rainbow tha bhi nahin 

isiliye toh mujhe nahin dikha tha 

ek right corner mein chota sa tha kahin 

par dhundhne pe mil gaya aur smile bhi aa gayi

bachpan bhi aa gaya 

toh moral of the story ye hain 

Ki chahe jo ho jaye 

We have to look for that right corner filled with colours and we will be fine.

Lucky hoon main ki meri behen same society mein rehti hai 

Aur hum aisi random baatein share karte hain

Agar aap dhoondhna chaahoge toh aapko bhi mil jayenge reasons jis se aapko pata chalega ki aap kitne lucky ho. 

Aur ye zaroori nahin hai ki aapko ye reasons balcony ke bahar aasmaan ki ore dekhne pe hi milenge.

Aapke lucky hone ke bohot saare reasons aapke andar aapki yaadon mein bhi mil sakte hain.

Jaise main apne aapko supremely lucky ek reason ki wajah se maanta hoon - Meri Family

Lockdown phase mein hum log pata nahin kahan kahan duniya ke alag alag kono mein atke hue hain,phasey hue hain. Koi Paris mein hai, koi bandra mein koi banglore mein hai koi bombay mein koi gujrat mein hai toh koi hyderabad mein. Aur main yahan thane mein.

Ek din aise hi khayal aaya ki hum sab ko lockdown mein apne hometown Akola mein hona chahiye tha. Agar aisa ho paaata toh ye lockdown kisi summer vacation aur diwali vacation se kam na hota. Wo din jahan hum sab ek saath ek chhat ke neechey rehte the.

I am sure aap logon ko bhi same lagta hoga aur agar same nahin lagta hoga toh kuch aur lagta hoga

But I am sure "Kaash Factor" toh sabki soch mein kahin na kahin hoga. Na?

Haan bhai! Kaash Factor ka sirf lockdown se lena dena nahin hai, pata hai na?

Kaash factor relates to whole life and " What if" thoughts are always there in our minds. 

Par main aapke lockdown ka " Kaash Factor " Jaanna chahta hoon. Toh comment section mein batayiye ki agar aap " Kaash aisa.." ye sochte hain toh aapka pehla thought kya aata hai.

Anyway coming back to Family

Main jab paida hua toh ghar mein almost 17 log the 

Haan 17

Phir jab main full fledged bada ho gaya toh hum 25 se bhi zyada log us ghar mein rehte the. Toh aap soch sakte ho ki summer vacations mein kya mazey aate honge.

" Dost" ye concept aur iska actual need bohot late samajh mein aaya. Kyunki hum cousins aapas mein hi itne mast rehte the. Aapko main ye bataunga ki hum apne ghar mein events aur competitions aur fashion shows organise karte the toh aapko lagega ki main mazaak kar raha hoon right?

Par hum actually aisa karte the, aur usmein humari badi daadiji se leke sab ke sab participate karte the. Iska closest reference agar main aapko de sakta hoon toh wo hai, Suraj Barjatia ki Hum Saath Saath Hai. Usmein Tabu ko welcome karne ke liye jaisa function hota tha, almost waisa same hum har vacation mein karte the.

We used to call it a " Program "

On any random day Dadaji used to call us in his room 

" Beta suno, parson ghar mein mehmaan aa rahe hain, toh program taiyar kar lo"

Aur bus! Humein mauka mil jaata tha celebrate karne ka. Ye mehman mostly

 " Jijaji,Phuphaji,Samdhiji ya koi politician bhi hota tha" par us se humko kya? Hum bachchon ki gang ko sirf naachne se matlab tha.

Politician matlab?

Matlab mantri

Matlab neta

Hmm Grandpa was a big shot.

Ye humko tab nahin samajhta tha. Par dheerey dheerey pata chala what a stud he was. Chote the tab toh hum nautanki karke manwa hi lete the unsey apni zidd aur maangey. Baad mein pata chala kitne usoolon wale the aur samaaj ke liye kya kya nahin kiya. Etc.

So! The stage was set. Date was decided. We had 2 days to prepare.

Aap yakeen maaniye. Hum kisi event planner se kam nahin the. Everything used to be on paper. Games,competitions, dance battles, skits,stand up comedy,etc. Ek proper host hota tha who used to entertain you between two performances. Aur hum is preparation process mein apne aap ko itna dedicate kar dete the ki humari mummiyan pareshaan ho jaati thi, " Khaana Kha Lo!"

Unko humare peechey bhaagna padta tha to get us to eat, if nothing worked, their final weapon used to be Papa Shree. Aur hum sab ko pata hai, ghar ki kisi situation mein agar Papa ji ko involve kar diya, toh maamla wahin serious ho jaata tha. Humare paer restlessly hilte rehte the ki kab khaane ki plate khatam ho aur kab hum phir se taiyari mein lag jayein.

Aisi random family mein paida hua isiliye kaafi lucky hoon main. Abhi bhi, jab se lockdown start hua hai, all of us make sure ki hum minimum hafte mein ek baar Zoom call ke zariye milein.

I used to be shy to these things, but the first time I joined this video call, it went on for 3 hours. I laughed so much,my stomach was aching by the end of it. 

Itna hasey hum ki sab bhool gaye.

The best part is, this Zoom call is like a day in our summer vacations where we all used to sit in the living room and just laugh, talk and eat.

 Akola - My hometown used to be so hot during summers, sometimes it touched 50 degrees. Almost all my memories from summer vacations are from inside the house in that living room. Ek table thi, jahan hum subha se shaam tak baithe rehte the, khaana aata rehta tha, hum khaate jaate the.

I Miss those days! But that weekly Zoom call is the brighter side to this lockdown for me.

Bhai wo sab toh theek hai ! Par ye personal baatein tu humsey kyun kar raha hai aur blog pe kyun likhe ja raha hai.

Kyunki, aisa ho sakta hai ki aap is dauran bohot down bohot low ho rakhe ho. Aas paas koi bhi cheez motivate nahin kar rahi ho. Aapke dost aapse pareshan ho chukey ho. Aapki family shayad aapse duur ho filhaal. 

Toh agar in sab jagahon pe andhera hogaya ho toh apne andar dhoondh lo bright spot? past mein jaake bachpan mein jaake dhoondh lo bright spot? Nostalgia mein best bright spots hote hain, that's my personal opinion. Aur meri bachpan ki baaton mein kahin na kahin kuch na kuch toh match hua hoga, I am sure. Bataiyega wo kya tha. And Remember

 

"YOU ARE EXTREMELY LUCKY" 🌈

Comment 1 : Bachpan mein main ghar wapis jaane ke liye school ki pant mein susu kar deta tha

Comment 2 : Mere Naak mein ek baar yellow colour ka crayon phass gaya tha

Comment 3 : Main patang ke peechey bhaagte hue daldal mein phass gaya tha

Comment 4 : Colony ke fashion show mein mera wardrobe malfuction ho gaya tha

Comment 5 : Main chalk khaata tha

Comment 6 : (Anonymous) I used to dig my nose and also taste it 🙈

Comment 7 : Ek baar mera saamaan zip mein atak gaya tha 

Comment 8 : My teacher beat me so badly once, unki choodiyan toot gayi. Her name was 9-9 choodiyan Henceforth

Comment 9 : I was Modifried today, but this nostalgia trip made me smile

Comment 10 : Modi is love

Comment 11 : Benedryl pi le , Zukaam ka mausam hai 

Comment 12 : Bhak B#0$@^*__

Lockdown Conversations : Cheesy Baatein

Cheesy Baatein Matlab? Random baaton se Cheesy Baatein ? 

Hello? What is?

Cheesy baatein matlab wo baatein jo hum bina soche samjhe apne aap se sochte hain aur karte hain 

Toh Random baaton mein bhi toh tum kahan sochte samajhte ho

Toh? What is the difference ?

Difference hai 

Random baatein aap kisi se bhi karte ho ya kar sakte ho

but cheesy baatein most of the times sirf uske saath karte ho jiske saath aap comfortable ho 

Jiske saath vulnerable hona risky nahin lagta

Jo tumhe bewakoof samjheingey ki tum kya bole ja rahe ho aur tumhe bura nahin lagega

Mujhe abhi bhi nahin samajh mein aa raha hai bhaisahab

Haan thoda difficult hai 

Chalo I will try again 

Cheesy mode jab ON ho jaata hai tab tum ek bewakoof bacche jaise ho jaate ho, actually bewakoof bhi nahin ho toh chalega, but bacche jaise toh ho hi jaate ho. Jab tumhari gehri daadi aur muchch hone ke baad bhi tumhe " Aww, So cute " ye sunne ka mann karta hai. Jab tum apne most childish self ko kisi ke saamne rakh dete ho. Zyada sochte samajhte nahin ho. Ye wo type ki baat hai Jab bachcha puri tarah chutiya jaata hai aur us smiley jaisa bann jaata hai. 

Smiley Jaisa matlab?

Arey wo wala smiley 

Love is blind wala smiley

Arey wo jo yellow takle ki dono aankhon mein dil bhare hue hote hain 

How is that love is blind waala smiley?

Dono aankhon mein dil bhar jaayenge toh kya Ghanta dikhega?

oooo shit! Maine kabhi aisa socha hi nahin tha 

Hmm.. Ab samjha?

Haan cheesy baaton mein inhibitions aur darr nahin hota 

Aap judgement se nahin darte 

Aap thode jagah se sarak jaate ho

Hmm Aur tab aapko sirf wo ek insaan important hota hai 

Aur us ek insaan ki muskaan

Arey aisa sab toh filmon mein hota hai 

Asli mein nahin hota 

Hmm Hota hoga 

Kisko Pata

Cheesy Baatein : Filmon Wala Pyar

Wo jo filmon wala pyar

Wo jo dekhte aaye hain 

Teen se Tees tak 

Nahin nahin wo hollywood wala nahin 

Wo bollywood wala 

Hindi cinema wala

Cheesy Picturon wala

Haan wohi same to same

Kai baar dekha hai 

Haan aur dekhte dekhte mehsoos bhi kiya hai 

Haan wahi jiska Shahrukh bhagwana hai aur Kajol Devi

Oops that sounded very heavy

Anyway

The question is "Is that for real?"

Yes? No ? May be?

Hmmm...

Filmon wala pyar

Waise toh ye cheez, ye feeling, dekhne mein toh achi hi lagti hai 

Par is sey na hum logon ki life mein problems badh gayi hai 

Wo kaise?

Humney filmon se stalking seekhi, Cheesy baatein karna seekhi, Ladki ka peecha karna seekha

But Us se kuch hua nahin 

Ulta chappal jootey thappad padi

Similarly ladkiyon ne greeting cards aur slambooks bharna seekha, notes share karna seekha, bina kisiko bataye karva chauth ka vrat rakhna seekha.etc.etc.

Result ? Nil

Ab issue ye hain 

Ki ladki Hero ko dekhke " Aww" karti hai 

Same ladki humko same harkat mein "Ja" karti hai 

Nahin nahin 

You are confused my friend

Ladki doesn't like stalking,following and all that baatein 

Ladki likes it to be subtle and real

Wo us pe "Aww" karti hai 

Oh Haan! Correct

My bad 

But anyway 

Filmon wale pyaar mein Ladki and Ladka become each others' universe

Ye filmon wale pyaar ne normal life wale pyar pe bohot load nahin daal diya hai ?

Kaisa load?

Ofcourse there is load 

Seeing se feeling tak

Kneeling se dealing tak

Matlab?

Matlab asli zindagi mein violins bajte hain ?

Tum ek ladki ke liye lad hi jaate ho kya sab se?

Dil ke aagey Dimag aur Dimag ke logic fail hi ho jaate hain kya?

Mere saath toh nahin hua 

But I have seen other people go crazy about each other

I have also seen two individuals abandon their world and make a small world of their own 

I have also seen people fight their families for it

Haan suna toh maine bhi hai 

Mere kuch doston ne ye sab kiya bhi hai 

But main abhi tak ye sochta hoon ki mere saath kab hoga?

Ye same to same?

Mujhe bhi chahiye aisi kahani

Tere saath hua hoga 

Parn tuney dhyan nahin diya hoga

Hum log sab bohot busy hain life mein 

Oh Shit

That Race mentality

Aur waise bhi Mobile Phone aur Social media ne sab raita phaila diya hai 

Commitments se darr toh youngsters ko pehle bhi lagta tha 

Par options ki availability ne unke liye "abandoning or escaping a relationship" ko easy bana diya hai 

Sab kuch apne hisaab se tailormade hona chahiye

Nahin hua toh we get skeptical about it

This is not going to work - Ye aaj ke zamaney mein sab se frequent thought hai logon ke dimag mein 

Hum us lamhe mein ghusney se pehle hi analyse karna chahte hain ki ye baad mein matter karega ya nahin 

Isiliye hum "In the moment" kuch bhi enjoy ya feel nahin kar pa rahe hain

Dating Apps and Social Media Apps pe bohot saare log miltein hain in the last 5 years.

Haan! Thats quite epic, mere best friend ki toh uski random facebook friend se shaadi bhi ho gayi hai. Social media is good.

Haan one in a million ek aisa case hoga hi.

Mere opinions is maamle mein thode alag hain. Even though I have been on social media and dating apps, Mila bhi hoon kai logon se.

And?

And What? Good times ! 

But overall scenario mein bataun toh 

Hypocrisy ki haddhein paar ho jaati hai Dating Apps aur Social media mein 

Social Media : Not looking for a relationship 

Live : Will this work? 

Dating app : Just want to chill 

Live: Is this going somehwere? 

Dating app : Live life in the moment 

Live : What about our future? 

Dating App/Social Media : Dont think too much Just Enjoy life 

Live : Is this worth it? 

Dating app : Not looking for Relationship or Commitment 

Live : Ye kaun hai ? Wo kaun tha? Who are you texting?

I can go on and on 

But scene ye hain ki hum sab logon ki band baji hui hai is confusion mein ki humein kya chahiye

Aur jab humein wo mil jaata hai tab hum sochte hain ki ye worth hai ya nahin 

Aur jab wo wala barrier bhi somehow cross ho jaata hai tab hum ye sochte hain ki work out karega ki nahin 

Hmm toh hum relationship nahin reality gameshow chala rahe hain jahan hum faltu mein hi apne liye task generate karte ja rahe hain

Aur is chakkar mein hum wo time waste kar de rahe hain jo ki shayad wapis kabhi nahin aayega

Filmon mein aisa nahin hota hai 

Filmon wale pyaar mein jab pyar hota hai toh beshumaar hota hai

Ofcourse filmon mein jhagdey bhi hote hain 

Dil bhi toot-te hain 

Divorce aur extra marital affairs bhi hote hain 

Par wo jo starting wala phase hota hai na wo kamaal hota hai 

Par wo starting wala phase toh apni life mein bhi hota hain na ?

The first three months? Jisko hum honeymoon period bolte hain 

Jahan sab kuch acha lagta hai 

Butterflies in the stomach and all that 

Hota hain nahin, hota tha! 

Kyun ki aaj ke time mein hum apni life ko lekar itna darey hue hain 

Ki humari calculations starting mein hi start ho jaati hain 

Hum puri tarah apne aap ko dedicate hi nahin kar paatey us pyaari pyaar wali feeling ko 

Humara 50% us feeling ko mehsoos kar raha hota hai 

Aur 50% darr raha hota hai aur apne counselor aur best friend se discuss kar raha hota hai ki ye real hai na ? This wont hurt me right? I hope this dude is legit and he is not doing all this just to impress me or sleep with me 

Ab mera maanna ye hai 

Ki jo hona hai wo toh hoga hi

Agar wo dude kameena nikalna hoga toh niklega hi

Agar usko aapke expectations pe paani pherna hoga toh wo pherega hi

Par abhi, is moment pe jo wo kar raha hai/rahi hai aapke liye

Jo aapke 50% ko acha bhi lag raha hai 

Aap wo puri tarah se mehsoos kyun nahin kar rahe ho ?

Hum kal ke darr se aaj ko kho rahein hain 

Yahan hai main difference humare wale aur filmon wale mein 

Bhai

Ye cheesy baatein bohot serious nahin ho gayi? Title badalke pyaar ki analysis karna padega

Nahin, Title same hi rehne dete hain 

Kyunki mere hisaab se cheesy baaton ke bina Filmon wala pyaar filmon wala rahega hi nahin 

Waise filmon wale pyaar ko leke ek Sawaal hai

Uff phir se sawaal?

Bhool gaya?

Logon ko tere sawaal nahin chamakte hain

Log link aur logic dhoondh rahe hain 

Motive dhoondh rahe hain ki tuney wo kyun post kiya

Ab unko kaun samjhaye?

Ki tu insaan hi Random Max hai 

But Sawaal toh hai aur important bhi hai 

Wo filmon wala pyaar jo hum dekhte chalein aaye hain 

Kya hum wo kabhi dekh payenge?

Haath Pakadna 

Garden mein ghoomna

Bench pe baithna

Hugs

Cuddles

Snuggles

Love making

Kaise hoga ye?

Bohot logon ki toh dukaan hi bandh ho jayegi.. na?

Toh kya wo pehle wala censored Filmon wala pyaar wapis aayega?

Kaunsa wala?

Arey wohi wala

Jahan 2 phool pakadke hilaate the 

Aur Chimney ki aag dikhate the

Kabhi sunset toh kabhi sun rise

Haath bhi nahin pakad sakte yaar

Toh kaise hoga ab ye wala pyaar?

Filmon ka chhod

May be ye without touch wala phase will become a litmus test to get results on Asli hai ya Fake ye pyaar

* Views expressed in the blog are personal opinions. 

Resemblance to any living Name,place,animal,thing is purely intentional.

Comment 1 : Bohot Pakaya

Comment 2 : What is actual love?

Comment 3 : Sweety Sweety Sweety tera pyaar chaida

Comment 4 : Modi is love

Comment 5 : Bhak Bh0$#)*

Lockdown Conversations : Sawaal

Ravish says " Journalism mein sawaal puchna zaroori hai "

Kyun bhai?

" Kyunki Democracy mein Sawaal puchne se hi wo zinda rehti hai "

Hmm Democracy ko zinda rakhne ke chakkar mein kahin hum ye toh nahin bhool rahe ki sawaal puchne wala zinda bach raha hai ki nahin ?

Kaafi serious note pe chalu kiya na is baar ..

Kyunki duniya hi itni serious ho gayi hai filhaal..

Anyway lets jump in to some light stuff

Random Stuff

In order to make this a fun read

Ram ke time pe Sawaal ye tha ki Ram jeetega ki Raavan 

Aye Aye! Ram ke time pe matlab?

Haan ye bhi ek sawaal hai 

Ram ke time pe matlab kya?

Ram ka time khatam kab hua?

Ye time bhi Ram ka hi hai 

Haan ye toh bilkul satya hai because Ram Naam Satya hai 

Agreed .. But By Ram ka time I meant

Jab Ram existence mein tha 

Jab Sita kidnap hui thi 

Ram aur Raavan ki ladai hui thi 

Aye Aye ! Ye tu kaisi baatein kar raha hai ? 

Haan ye bhi ek sawaal hai 

Main ye light ke naam pe itna heavy naam kaise le raha hoon?

Haan.. aur kidnap hui matlab kya bey? Izzat se baat kar samjha! Bhagwaano ke baare mein baat kar raha hai tu m%$d#*c007

Acha! Haan sorry !

Izzat.. Main toh bhool hi gaya tha 

Toh Ram ke time se mera matlab tha jab Ram Bhagwan, Sorry Shree Ram Chandra Bhagwan Ji the Mata Seeta Mayya bhi thi.. Ayodhya ki paavan dharti pe Ramayan rachi ja rahi thi.. Main us DD national type ke samay ki baat kar raha hoon Vatsa

Haan theek hai ab point pe aa .. itna over exaggerate karne ki zaroorat nahin hai..

Cool 

Toh Ram ke time pe sawaal ye tha ki Ravan jeetega ki Ram ? Right?

Ab toh Syllabus hi change ho gaya hai ..

Ab toh Ram ki ladai Ravan se hai hi nahin 

Ab toh Sawaal kaafi change ho gaya hai aur random bhi 

Toh Sawaal ye hai ki Ram jeeteyga ki .....

Really?

ye visphotak topic chhedega tu apne 2 takkey ke blog pe? 

ye national issue hai 

Chhed kahan raha hoon 

main toh sirf sawaal puch raha hoon 

Ki Syllabus change ho gaya, Kaise? Kab sey?

Ab inmein se  Ravan ko do(2) feelings aa rahi hogi

First : Existential Crisis

Ki main kahan gaya bhai equation mein se 

Toh iska simple answer hai 

Bhai tujhe toh paet mein baan chala ke maar diya tha aur usi paet mein se baan nikaalke beej nahin daal diye the ?

Aye Aye 

Tu ye kya bakwaas kar raha hai ?

Arey? dekha nahin hai ? Ramayan mein Ram jab Ravan ko maarta hai toh haath jodke kuch kuch bolta hai aur phir suraj ugta hai aur suraj ke saath saath Ravan ki naabhi mein se guldasta bhi.. Jao homework karke aao chalo phuto!

Ravan answering ( Maybe) : Arey phir bhi yaar! Itna iconic character hoon main 

I mean tha main .. Aise kaise mujhe replace kar diya ? Just because Ram ne mujhe Hari Ghaas mein daalke mere upar harey harey phool pattey ugaye .. toh main kya replaceable ho gaya?

This is not fair yaar! Main duniya ka sabse smart villain tha yaar I mean hoon yaar.. Aise kaise green se match karke mujhe replace kar diya.. Hadhdh hai matlab .. Saari mehnat waste ho gayi.. Shyaaa

Second : Khushi !

Ki ye dekho .. Ram Ram bolke Ram ke bhagton ne Ram ke sidhdhaanton ko hi Ram Ram kar diya 

HEEEHAAAAWHHAAAAW 

Main Hoon Raavan !

Shaktishaali 

Sarva Shaktimaan!

toh ab main sawaal ye hai 

Ki Raavan ko chahe jo bhi feel ho raha ho 

Do you think Ram will be happy right now?

In either of the cases?

Koi possibility hai ?

Socho 

Aur mujhe batao 

#didramactuallywin?

Bohot heavy ho gaya ?

Chalo thode aur sawaal puchte hai phir bandh karte hain aaj ka post

Main aaj Shyam Benegal ki film " Mandi " dekh raha tha 

Mubi pe

Waise Mubi khareed lo bhaiyon 

Kaafi Acha content

( Maine jugaad pe chala raha hoon kyunki #Sindhirepresent, hum log thoda hichkichatey hain official subscription lene mein )

Acha? Sirf Sindhi hi nahin, saarey, acha almost saarey entertainment subscriptions Jugaad pe chal rahe hain ?

Oh isiliye 

Bhai tu Netflix ka id password dega please ? is the most trending Sawaal! 

Nice ! Main faltu mein guilty ho raha tha 

Anyway

By the way 

Shyam Benegal Sir hain kahan?

Bohot time ho gaya hai unke baare mein sunke 

Kya satirical commenting hoti hai unki filmon mein society pe .. 

Unki saari filmein kamaal hai kamaal! Hats off to you Sir! 

Toh main Mandi dekhte dekhte kamathipura pohoch gaya aur mere mann mein ek hi sawaal aaya

Mandi : Ye film sex workers ke life ke around ghoomti hai, unki life, the challenges they face etc.

By the way.. amazing film.. must watch..Shabana Azmi, Naseer Sa'ab,Om Puri, Smita Patil jaise kai aur kalaakar hain is film mein.

Toh film dekhte dekhte main pohoch gaya apne BMM waale zamaney mein jahan ek case study ke chalte main pohoch gaya tha Kamathipura, Sex Workers ki life study karne. Uske baare mein detail mein kabhi aur bataunga. Kaafi life changing experience tha.

Brothels wali is Industry ko India mein kaafi parde ke peechey se dekha jaata hai 

Considered Illigal

Dance Bars Ban ho chukey the and what not

Toh India ka sawaal ye hai 

Sorry, India kya jaan na chahta hai wo sawaal sirf India ko pata hai Ya Arnab ko 

Toh mera sawaal ye hai

Ki jab Covid ke daur mein Chhuuna hi ban ho gaya hai 

Chhuuna yane TOUCH hi ban ho gaya hai toh whats happening with sex workers? Unki life unka business kaise chal raha hai ?

Agley sawaal ki ore chalne se pehle mere andar ke baithe Pimp ne ek jawab diya hai jo ki totally kalpanik ho sakta hai, mujhe toh laga possible nahin hai ki aisa ho jaye aur is se chal haye roti paani par ab ye sahab bol toh rahe hai , aap bhi padh lijiye

" Arey! Boss! Covid Corona ! Nakko Rona, Dhanda bandh nahin hoga, Apan log virtual reality mein venture kar rele hain, ye aaj kal ki generation phone pe hi khush ho ja reli hai. Tension not! Dhandha nahin rukenga, You want to be my Binnesss partner? "

Chalo agar aisa ho raha hai 

Toh badhiya hi hai 

Nahin toh mere dimag mein ye sawaal toh kaafi chinta wala tha ki un sab ki life kaisi chal rahi hogi without TOUCH

Meri toh kaafi mushkil se chal rahi hai bhai! #honestyisthebestpolicy

Chalo agla sawaal

2020 mein pata hai sabse mehengi gaadi kaunsi hai ?

Audi! Naah!

BMW ! Naah!

Merc! Naah!

Toh phir kaunsi?

AMBULANCE

Ambulance kab se in sab se mehengi ho gayi? kuch bhi haan !

Tujhe nahin lagta?

Naah..bakwaas kar raha hai tu

Chal Ambulance se hi puch lete hain ..

Ambulance baat karti hai ?

Kyun? School mein toh essay mein tubelight aur pankey bhi baat karte the .. toh Ambulance kaunsi kam hai 

Toh Aayiye chalte hain aur puchte hain ki badhti demand ki wajah se kya ambulance ke bhaav bhi bad gaye hain ?

Arey yaar ye toh abhi bhi humble hai 

Simple

White

Toh Ambulance Ji

Kya lagta hai aapko ? Aapko raahat kab milegi?

tseb rof epoh s'teL

Kya?

ye kya bol rahi hai kuch samajh nahin aa raha

Arey Aaina pakad, samajh mein aa jayega

Hanji Ambulance Ji

Lets hope for the best!

Aaj kal toh kaafi busy rehti hongi na aap ?

Aaraam karne ka time milta hai ?

Aaram ke liye nahin logon ki seva karne ke liye janm liya hai maine

Jab mareez hospital time pe pohoch jaata hai na 

tab log mujhe haath jodke thank you bolte hain 

Jab main time pe unke ghar pohochti hoon tabhi bhi unke chehre pe jo relief jo sukoon hota hai wo ajeeb tarah ki shaanti deta hai

Kamaal hai 

Itna busy, itna hectic schedule hone ke bawajood bhi aap itni sweet, humble aur simple kaise hain ? Itni Shaant!

Shaant? Jab zaroorat ka waqt hota hai toh main itna shor machati hoon , idea nahin hai tumhe

I transform myself into a power house

Saving peoples' life 

Blaring the siren out

Luxury cars making way for me 

All this gives me a different high..

But best are smiles 

I just love them

Aakhri sawaal

Aaj kal aap mein oxygen pre installed nahin hai most of the times

Aisa kyun?

Aye Chal 

ye sab serious questions mein mat phasa mujhe 

Gtg

*Siren Sound*

Comment 1 : Is blog ka naam Sawaal nahin phaaltu sawaal hona chahiye tha
Comment 2 : Nahin iska naam Sawaal - Jawaab hona chaiye tha.. saare sawaal bhi puchey, Jawab bhi de diye.. Random Bakchodi.. Time Waste

Comment 3 : Kuch kuch Jawaab saalon se nahin miley toh is blog mein kya milenge.. dhoondho dhoondho

Comeent 4 : Jai Shree Ram! #mandirwahinbanayenge #m@d#rc007

Lockdown Conversations : Us Paar

Us Paar

Us Paar? Kis Paar?

Arey Us Paar?

Deewar ke us paar Padosi

Sarhad ke us paar Padosi Mulk

Aasmaan ke us paar taarey

Par taarey toh aasmaan ke is paar bhi hain 

Toh?

Taarein toh sarhad ke is paar bhi hain 

Toh kis paar hoga jab us paar hoga?

Us Paar? Kis Paar?

Arey Us Paar?

Zindagi ke us paar shayad roshni shayad andhera

Toh?

Andhera toh Zindagi ke is paar bhi hai, aur shayad nahin.. pakka hai 

Par gaur se dekho toh shayad is paar roshni bhi mil hi jayegi

Kahan ?

Dekho toh sahi ..

Ghane andhere ke baad aksar is paar roshni aati hai 

Aur us paar?

Us paar kis paar?

Arey Lockdown ke us paar?

Acha! Lockdown ke us paar..

Pata nahin yaar...

Pehle deewarein pata thi toh darwazey bana diye us paar jaa sakein 

Sarhadein pata thi toh taarein aur lakeerein kheech di ki us paar na jaa sakein 

Antariksh pata chala toh space ship bana di ki us paar ja sakein 

Aur khatra pata tha toh firewall bana di ki us paar na jaa sakein 

Jaana hai tumhe us paar?

Haan .. Ghoomne ka bohot shauk hai.. mera matlab hai tha.. ye dekho 

Fancy passport cover.. 2019 mein decide kiya tha ki puri duniya ghoomke bhar dunga isey

par ab pata nahin us paar jaane ko milega bhi ya nahin 

Kabhi socha hai us paar kaisa hoga sab kuch ?

Kya tum usi tarah apne jigri ko galey laga paogey?

Sadkon pe paani puri aur chaat ke chatkaare laga paoge?

Kitna alag hoga tumhara bartaav apni maids aur house helpers ki taraf?

Kuch bhi bolo 

Insaaniyat mein toh thoda bohot Ijaafa* hua hai is lockdown se

Insaaniyat aur dil dono ka hi Ijaafa hua hai 

Haan.. Asli mein dil kaafi badey ho gaye hain 

Par utna hi patience ki takhfeef* hui hai 

Ab ruka nahin ja raha dekhne ke liye ki us paar aakhir hai kya?

Kya us paar kabhi ja bhi paayenge?

Apne dil kareeb ko Cchoo bhi payenge?

Kaisa mausam ho gaya hai 

Kaisa?

Pehle ke zamane mein ..

Pehle ke zamane mein matlab?

Matlab in pre - Covid times

Acha mujhe laga aap B.C. ki baat kar rahe hain 

Nahin nahin 

B.C. aur A.D. dono hi bohot puraaney ho gaye 

Ab toh humare liye 

purana zamana matlab March ke pehle ke wo 30 saal jo hum jee chukey

Jee bhi chukey?

Arey Jiye kya..

Aisa lag raha hai 30 ke 30 saal barbaad hi kar diye

Ab jaake jab waqt ki koi ehmiyat nahin bachi 

Tab waqt ki ehmiyat sab se zyaada samajh mein aa rahi hai 

Waqt ki kya ehmiyat nahin bachi ?

Yaar mere liye toh nahin bachi ..

Kyun nahin ?

Kyunki Koi puchne wala hi nahin hai?

Hmm

Acha toh jab koi puchne wala tha toh tum toh bada hi maan lete the na..

Hmm.. Nahin 

Toh phir bahane maarna bandh karo

Hmm.. Acha hai 

Toh jab waqt ki koi ehmiyat hi nahin bachi 

tab uski ehmiyat ka andaaza pata chal raha hai 

aur ye bhi pata chal raha hai ki 

Pichley 30 saal toh race mein daudte daudte barbaad kar diye

Race?

Kaunsi Race?

Pata nahin kaunsi race thi mui..

Pata nahin tha kaunsi race thi 

Phir bhi bhaag rahe the ?

Hanji..

Yaar ye toh wohi baat ho gayi ki Mummy ko pata tha fancy dress competion hai phir bhi tumhey relay ki practice karva rahi thi

Haha.. Haan .. aur pata hai jab school pohoche aur sachchai saamne aayi toh kya kaha mummy ne teacher se ?

Kya kaha?

Ki haan toh?

Ye fancy dress mein sportsman bana hai 

Chalo beta .. Bhaag ke dikhao !

Phir kya hua?

Phir kya?

Maine bhaagna start kiya 

Phir?

Phir 30 saal nikal gaye..

Oh Teri!

Toh pata hi nahin tha jaana kahan hai ?

Na..

beech beech mein kuch pitstops aaye jahan aisa laga ki shayad idea hai ki kahan jaana hai 

Par.. Ab aisa nahin lagta kahin jaana bhi hai 

Us paar bhi nahin jaana ?

Ye us paar jaane ke chakkar mein hi toh yahaan phasey hue hain 90 din se 

Matlab ?

Matlab 

Us paar bhi wohi hai jo is paar hai 

Pehle is paar ko toh sambhaal lo 

Phir us paar ke baare mein soch lena 

Is paar ka kuch idea nahin hai 

aur us paar ko explore karne chale hain 

Aaye badey!

You mean 

Jab tak is paar sab theek nahin kar lete 

Tab tak us paar jaane ka koi matlab hi nahin hai

Correct

Nahin toh race kabhi khatam hi nahin hogi

Jab tak jo haath mein hain usey sambhaal na lo samajh na lo 

Tab tak us paar waale ke haath mein kya hai wo jaan ne ka koi matlab hi nahin hai 

Us paar ke haathon ke peechey bhaagte bhaagte ye haal hai ki 

Ab us paar toh kya is paar mein bhi kisi se haath nahin mila sakte 

Isiliye 

Apne haath mein jo bhi hai usey sambhaal ke rakho 

Kahin Phisal na jaye waqt ki tarah jo is paar phisal raha hai 

Ek saal jo humesha itihaas mein yaad rakha jayega 

Us saal ka humein khaali sofa Tv aur laptop yaad rahega 

Slambook mein milestones kaise lagayenge?

Kya likhenge

Is paar kya kiya tha 

Jo us paar jaane ki latt lagi thi?

Deewaron ke us paar jaane se pehle socho

Ki Deewar ke is paar sab theek hai ?

Sarhadon ke us paar jaane se pehle socho

Ki Taaron ke is paar kya sab theek hai ?
Zindagi ke us paar jaane ke pehle socho 

Zindagi ke is paar kya sab dekh liya hai,seekh liya hai,jee liya hai ?

Khud ke us paar jaane se pehle socho 

Kya Khud ke is paar sab samajh liya hai ?

Finish Line ke us paar jaane ke pehle socho 

Ki Finish line ke is paar bhaag kyun rahe hai ? Ye Samajh liya hai ?

*Ijaafa - Enlargement

*Takhfeef not takleef - Decrement 

Actually takleef hi hai Patience ka decrement 

Na?

Comment No. 1 : Conversation 2 logon ke beech mein nahin hoti hai ?

Me : Hoti hai 

Comment No. 2  : Toh Phir ?

Me : Toh Phir kya?

Comment No. 3 : Dusra Insaan kahan hai ?

Me : Apne Ghar.. Lockdown hai na ? Tum bahar ghoom rahe ho ?

Comment No. 4 : Ch#@ti**

Lockdown Theory - System Restore

What's happening around the World currently might be orgasmic and satisfying to Satan and other Demons .. May Be..
They might be enjoying and celebrating in rejoice.. That Finally!
Humans are dying and nature is kind of teaching them a lesson, 
This is the beginning of the end, we have waited for this for so long.. 
2012 disappointed us and couldn't exceed our expectations. But, 2020 is LOVE 
Humanity will soon be finished, Humans are paying the price for the harm they have caused to Mother Nature and the planet they grew on since decades.

Even I started believing this.. until one day I decided to go stand in my balcony and observe Nature.
What did I see?

Trees are Greener
Birds Chirpier
Skies Cleaner
Stars Twinklier*
Nature is kind of enjoying this
There were two or four days when we used to be in awe of the moon, but today I look at it everyday, seems very close and HD.. doesn't it?

Went back to the bedroom smiling, took my iPad to play Ludo before sleeping.
An article popped in
It said
The biggest hole/cavity in the ozone layer is now filled up because of the drastic drop in pollution
That's when it struck me

Weren't these harmful UV Rays from the sun supposed to kill us eventually?
Burn our skins?
Weren't we predicting that all along?

Now what?
No skin cancer? No burns?

So this is clearly not the beginning of the end
We have just bought ourselves couple of centuries more to fuck with nature and survive

Because this is clearly not shut down
This is system restore!

Humans and Nature are in a toxic relationship where nature is that partner who is now expecting more abuse

She is addicted to it





* Twinkling more

It's always the Guy..(Contd..)

Day 1 Post the silence
Day 2 Post the silence
Day 3 Post the silence
Day 4 Post the silence



Guy's Phone : (Rings) Girl Calling...1 missed call   (Rings) Girl Calling.. 2 missed calls .....(Rings) Girl Calling..3 missed calls............................................continuous ringing ...series of missed calls

Guy's Eyes : I can see this
Guy's Mind : Let it ring...I want it to ring..Let her realize what she has done...
Guy's Phone : (Stops ringing).... 18 missed calls... Last call - 4 minutes ago
Guy's Mind : She stopped calling...why? How can she leave it? Just like that!
Guy's Ego : What the hell? I am feeling bad now..
Guy's Mind : Guy, please call her and tell her how could she leave it just like that?
Guy's Ego : NO! you wont call..she was the one who left it just like that for 5 long minutes.. You wont call! You need to respect me!

......battle goes on for 15 minutes...

Guy's Mind : She has not called yet..may be she is trying to move on..
Guy's Ego : NO! You can't let  this happen...! What about me? how can she move on? How can she not cry? how can't she be guilty anymore? GO! Stop her ! Pull her back! She can't be happy just like that !! She hasn't catered me enough yet!  Go Call her NOW!
Guy's Mind : That's what I was trying to say..Please call her...


Girl's Phone : (Rings) Guy Calling ...
Girl : (Picks up in just 3 seconds ) Hi baby!!! How are you?? I miss you so much! I am sorry for everything... I thought I lost you... I was so scared.. I am glad you called back... I love you so much! Baby? Why aren't you saying something?

Guy : (after a minute of pleading and begging from Girl) Why the hell did you stop calling? What has kept you so busy? Don't I stand anywhere? How the hell you haven't called in 15 minutes ? What is so important to you? than me? Haan! ANSWER ME!!!

Girl's Eyes : Wet and Full...Looking at Guy's Picture on her Desktop Wallpaper...
Girl's Heart : Something just stabbed me ...I am dying...
Girl's Ego : I am dead since months now..
Girl's Mind : Please keep the phone..I can't take it anymore..
Girl : But baby..I called you almost 20 times..I thought You were busy somewhere..thats wh.....
Guy : Just Shut up! How can you assume things ! Hopeless!

(Disconnects.....)
(Three beeps)
(Silence)
(Sobbing)
(Frozen)


Guy's Ego : Yes!! Now I feel much better.. I Feel alive!!!


..............................................It's always the Guy ..................


Image Source : Google (Internet)

It's always the Guy......

At least, that's what I think. I know many of you out there will think I am making a Generalized statement here, that's the feedback I got for my previous posts. But let me clear this, I write, you read. And most of the times you don't read it either. Haha! Opinions don't need to necessarily match or matter though.. So, in simple words No Offense :)



Why always the GUY?

Well, I will tell you why.....

Guy : See, you got to be honest and frank with me honey, I can stand anything But a Lie
Girl : Okay...
Guy : So?
Girl : So, what?
Guy : Did you?
Girl : No, I didn't..
Guy : See, if you did, its absolutely fine! You know you can tell me the truth, I'd understand that certain conditions made you do it...
Girl : What conditions? What are you talking about?
Guy : You know better.. So just tell me already..
Girl : Tell you WHAT? Please get me out of this interrogation cell.
Guy : You know what! So just tell me ! Please baby:)
Girl : Okay, what do you want me to say?
Guy : That you did..Don't you worry..Nothing will change...
Girl : Will that end this? This IB shit?
Guy : Yeah.. I'll buy you  Donuts then..and we can chill..
Girl : That will be it?
Guy : Yes Baby.. Tell me .. Did you?
Girl : Okay... I did
Guy: Err...WHAT??? Really?
Girl : If that's what you want to hear..Yes
Guy : Are you in your senses????
Girl : I just want this spotlight on me GONE..lets just end this conversation..Please.. Lets go and have some coffee..Leave this behind ..What say?
Guy : COFFEE?? Are you kidding me? Are you out of your mind? I am going nuts here!
Girl : You said you'd buy me Donuts if I said I did...So I did..Please lets stop this..Please
Guy : Fuck Donuts! Fuck Coffee ! You Bitch ... How could you!?!!!! We are done here!!

(Slams Door)
(Sobbing)

(Tears)
(Silence)


......................It's always the Guy..............................

Image Source : Google (Internet)