the pledge

the day began normally......it was 15th of july

i woke up rubbing my eyes to see my mom n dad who came from my home town for my sister's admissions

my sister was asleep..smiling face

i had terrible dreams. i was experiencing such dreams since quite a few days now

so it was not that trembling for me.

i got habituated to those nightmares now.

washed my face,greeted the almighty and my parents.

everything was going good until i took the razor and was about to shave my moustache

it was for my play i was supposed to be an Afghani, a citizen of Kabul

my dad said "beta razor le jao aur play ke kuch der pehle aap wo kar sakte ho..time acha nahin chal raha hai

aur please play ke turant baad shave off ur beard too..."

i laughed... i told my dad this is mumbai....

i shaved my moustache and headed off for the rehearsals just before the performance

it was just 5mins i was out of my house and i met my driver outside the gate

sandesh, a maharashtran from kalyan

he greeted me " chin2 bhai parso safe pohuch gaye the na ? sahab bola bohot ghoom ghoom ke gaye hostel? marine drive par baithna pada bataya sahab?"

i stay at an hostel at lamington road

the blasts that blowed mumbai off happened at a walking distance from both my college and hostel.

i said im fine sab theek hua

i went and stood in the Que at our society's junction for the vehicle which drops us at thane station

sandesh came back to me and said "chin2 bhai abhi aisa daadi nahin rakhne ka police waala pakdega"

still i was at ease

THANE STATION: it was around 9Am i got those stares

everyone looked at me twice and when it was the second time the eyes scanned me from the end of my hair to the tip of my toe

how much ever crowded thane is

no one ever pushed me

but today they did.......

FOR THE FIRST TIME MUMBAI MADE ME FEEL BAD

shivers ran down my spine

i was forced to look down n walk

i took a fast train too dadar

throughout the journey i was thinking ...

suddenly i saw a man yelling at me

"aye ..bag haath mein le...yahan aadmi ko khade rehne ki jagah nahin hai saale bag ko aadmi ki jagah dete hai"

i was drowned in my thoughts didn't get him

i said " kya?"

" aye mulle sunai nahin deta kya??

bag haath mein le"

i said " kaise?"

" do haaath nahin diye kya 'tere bhagwan' ne tujhe? chal hata bag

i kept mum

i changed my train at dadar and went to my college

my team was practicing

i joined them

we were all set for the play..but the thinking process in my brain was bombarding me...though i was engrossed in the enthusiasm of the inter collegiate festival at wilson college

i forgot whatever happened in the morning.

suddenly i got a sms from aalisha my friend

"good morning ! all the best for your performance and please do as i said ok tc"

initially i just read the text normally and kept my cell in my pocket

i changed my clothes and i applied the kajal in my eyes and while i was looking in the mirror at myself it just flashed what aalisha was talking about

last night when i was chatting with her, i told her m gonna shave my moustache tomorrow for the play

she messaged "please dont take risk

they might check u"

a tear rolled down my eyes

again the bombarding started in my brain

we were the next to perform

one of my team mates mayank said "trilok ! ghar jaane se pehle ye daadi shave kar dena aur ye kajal bhi hata dena

aatankwadi samajhke andar kar denge"

i felt like slapping him but i didn't

the play was good

our lead rashi rocked it

we were out everyone was going home

before i left thane in the morning i carried my razor to shave my beard after the play

but now something stopped me

i didnt even remove that kajal i walked back to my hostel from charni road

and i felt how my BROTHERS feel

it was sad ..even a kid in the cab gave me those piercing stares.

its been a month now i've shifted to YMCA and today for the first time they checked my id when i entered they checked my bag

the same uncle "mama" we called him ..i greet him everyday

he was not letting me go to my room

when i entered my room mate said " fuck!!!!! dude are you serious???? get off this attire

nahin toh tere saath hum bhi phas jayenge"

im not asking you to pardon my language coz that is exactly what i faced and what my brothers face since years

i have decided to stay in this look to feel the pain .the pain my brothers face.

they think their eyes scared me

no!!!! they are wrong.....their eyes gave me the strength to live it

MUMBAI made me feel bad for the first time in last 3 years

but how bad my brothers feel everyday?? i cant even imagine it

its high time we RECALL our PLEDGE

the pledge we found on the first page of our school text books

ALL INDIANS ARE MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS