Lockdown Conversations : Stupid Me!

Kisi ne socha hai ki gaanv ke logon ki sheher mein aake band kyun bajti hai ?

Aye! Aisa nahin hai

Gaanv se sheher aake bohot saare logon ne apne sapne sachch kiye hain 

And History is proof.. Many legends from small towns have captured and ruled the world

Arey! Haan bhai! Maine kab mana kiya?

Successful aur smart logon ki kahaniyan toh sabne suni hai 

Isiliye toh main unpe thoda focus kar raha hoon jinki sheher aake band baji hai 

Having said that

Aisa zaroori nahin hai ki jo small towners aaj legends hain 

Unki band koi na koi level pe nahin baji hogi 

Anyway, the point is 

Main small town se hoon aur meri kaafi band baji hai 

Kyun baji hai ?

There is only one reason to that 

Reason hain  Justification nahin hai okay?

The soul reason for meri lagna ya bajna is that

I am damn stupid

Am or Was?

Kahaaniyan toh "Was" waali hai but that doesn't mean ki usmein "Am" ka scope nahin hain

Kisi ne apne aas paas ya apne doston mein ye notice kiya hai ki small town se aaye hue ka sheher mein kitna kachra hota hai ?

Kachra matlab?

Kachra matlab aise incidences jahan pe hum unko " Abey gaanv se aaya hai kya/alibaug se aaya hai kya?" Ye bolke chidhate hain.

Hmm

Relationships workout na Hona

Random Breakups hona

Raston par Jhagde hona

Kabhi socha hai aisa kyun hota hai?

Mere hisaab se maine is baare mein pata lagaya hain 

Isiliye main aapko clearly batata hoon ki aisa kyun hota hai 

No offense to anyone 

But I am sure aap logon ne bhi aisi dardnaak ghatnayein apne aas paas notice ki hogi

Ek ladka hai jo chote sheher se bade sheher mein achanak aa jaata hai

From a small town to a metro city

Ab wo ladka ek aise school aur junior college mein padha hai jahan agar galti se bhi kisi ladki ne usey dekh ke muskura diya toh puri class ko khabar ho jaati thi. Jahan agar kisi ladki ne us se notes ke liye kitaab maang li toh staff room mein khabar phail jaati thi. Jahan agar uski desk partner koi khoobsurat ladki ban jaati thi toh class ki dusri saari benches pe

 "Ladka" 💘 " Ladki" ke chitron ki engraving ho jaati thi. Jahan agar wo ladki us ke saath tiffin share kar le toh Saturday ki parents teacher meeting mein wo issue prime level pe discuss hota tha. Jahan wo ladka apni khatara cycle pe us ladki ke peechey jaane ki taiyari mein ho aur uski cycle ki chain gir jaye aur kahin se wo ladki apni Scooty Pep rok ke uski madad karne ki koshish kare toh khabar purey sheher mein phail jaati thi.

Jahan hello karte waqt sirf ungliyon ki tip nahin hatheli bhi touch ho jaaye toh it was Talk of the town.

Aisi jagah aur past se aaya hua ladka jab Bombay ke Bandra ilaake ke top college  mein admission leke padhne aa jaye. Toh sochiye usko apni purani zindagi kitna bada dhokha lagegi.

Ye ladka roz subha local train ke dhakke khake apne Engineering college mein kadam rakhta hai aur usko chaaron ore pariyan dikhti hain. Wo Zakir bhai ne khoob kaha hai. Boys school ke laundon ko pata hoga, ki ladkiyon mein ek khushboo hoti hai. Yahan sirf khushboo hi nahin thi balki ye ladka perfume ke mall mein entry maar chuka tha. Ab aise mein isko ek hafta lag gaya is asliyat ke mahol se face to face hone mein aur apne hosh sambhaalne mein. 

Ab jab wo jaan chuka ki ye sab asli hai aur agley chaar saal tak yahi uski zindagi hai toh wo thoda next step ki taraf badha. Usne ye discover kiya ki chappal aur shorts pehenna gareebi nahin hoti. Chappal aur shorts mein ghoomna ulta coolness aur ameeri ki nishaani hai.

Aisi kai aur cheezein usne discover ki. Haalaki wo apna kapde pehenne ka dhang aur style nahin badal paya. Shorts aur Chappal ko usne logic se tackle kiya.

Kaunsa logic?

Simple logic ki wo roz subha 2 ghante local train mein travel karta hai, jismein bheed hoti hai. Chappal pehenega toh uske pairon ki ungliyon ka kachumbar ban jayega, plus Bombay mein July mahiney mein kaafi baarish ka mahol hota hai. Aisi baarish usne life mein kabhi face nahin ki thi. Toh Shoes pehenne ka ek aur reason usko mil gaya. 

Aur Shorts ka kya?

Hmm. Shorts ka actual reason tha ki uske ghar mein " Shorts pehen ke bahar sabzi wale tak hi jaa sakte hain college nahin " aisi parampara thi. Wo ek aise ghar mein rehta tha jahan ladke sar mein tel lagatey the, shirt ko in karte the aur belt bhi pehente the aur shoes ke bina ghar ke bahar kadam nahin rakhte the. Toh us hissaab se ye apne aap ko already ghar ka sab se cool aur stylish banda maanta tha . Shorts se isko waise hi kaafi allergy thi kyunki iski taango pe Anil Kapoor type ke baal the. Un baalon ki numaayish karne ki iski koi iccha nahin thi. Par public front pe isne ye logic rakha " Bhai college ke liye shoes toh pehenne hi hai, ab shorts pe shoes pehenne ke liye main RSS se thodi na hoon, so I am good with Jeans and T-shirts.

Style quotient barrier also crossed. Ab iska agla barrier tha, Social Skills. 

Ye stage pe jaane mein. Perform karne mein kaafi hoshiyar tha bachpan se hi. Toh social skills ka wo wala area was not his issue. 

His issue was " How to interact with his fellow female classmates looking in the eye" 

Ye kaam is se nahin ho pa raha tha 

Ofcourse jab ye stage pe jaata tha aur acha perform karta tha, toh class ke kaafi log isko congratulate karte the. Aise times pe ye ladkiyon ki aankhon mein dekhke kabhi " Thanks" tak nahin bol paata tha, arey haath milana toh duur ki baat hain, ye ladki agar is se baat karne aati thi toh patli gali naap ke koi na koi bahane se nikal jaata tha.

Ye kya tha?

Jab isko stage par jaake us college ke Principal ki mimicry karne mein koi darr nahin lagta tha par wahin jab kisi ladki se baat karne ki baari aati thi toh iske pair kaampte the, iske haath thande ho jaatey the. Ye samajh nahin pa raha tha ki is se kaise deal karna hai. Kyunki nahin ho paya toh problem ho jayegi. Chaar saal nikaalne hain college mein.

Ye is baare mein soch hi raha tha ki college ke agley din iske pairon ke neechey se zameen khisak gayi. Pura aasmaan is pe phatt gaya.

Abey! Aisa kya hua?

Jis Engineering college mein ye padhta tha wo comparitively station se kaafi nazdeek tha, toh ghar wapas jaate waqt ye humesha paidal chal ke jaata tha . Roz ki tarah ye aaj bhi apne do doston ke saath Bandra station ki ore chalke jaa raha hai, ye dono dost isko engineering ki coaching mein college start hone ke ek mahine pehele hi mil chukey the aur ye dono dost born and brought up in Bombay the. Is ne kai baar ye issue in doston se discuss bhi kiya lekin in dono ne humesha hass ke baat taal di.

Yahan tak toh theek tha, par roz ki tarah sirf ye teeno log station ki taraf nahin chalke jaa rahe the. Iske doston ne apne aur doston ko bhi "Lets walk today' ka invitation de diya tha. Ab ye 6 log saath mein chalte chalte station ki ore ja rahe the. Apne ladke ki haalat already kharab hai, wo kabhi neechey dekh ke kabhi apne phone pe kuch karte hue chalta ja raha hai. Iske haath pair thande pad gaye hain. Iske dimaag mein sirf ek cheez chal rahi hai, ki kab ye station pohoche aur kab pehli train milte hi is situation se bhaag jaaye. 

Saare log station pohoche aur ek dusrey ko " Okay Bye, See you tomorrow!" bolne ki baari aayi jahan ye idhar udhar dekhte hue duur se apna haath hilate hue " Bye Bye See you " type ki baatein badbada raha hai. 

Tab saamne se ek tom boyish ladki aayi " Hi ! I am phalana dimkana boli" aur seedha iska haath pakad liya, ye is feeling se recover hua hi tha ki sabne ek dusre ko bye bolne ke baad galey lagana shuru kiya.

Ye wahin khada raha, aisa lag raha tha jaise iske bachpan se kisi cousin ne aakey iske dimaag mein isko "STATUE!" bol diya ho. Aur aapne bhi apne bachpan mein aise log dekhe honge Salman Aishwarya type jo STATUE ko bohot seriously lete hai. Itna ki bladder phatt raha hai, toilet jaana hai par kya karoon usne abhi tak STATUE OVER nahin bola hai.

Iski haalat bhi kuch aisi hi ho gayi thi. Time froze for him, when the girl hugged him and said bye. 

Ab aisa ladka jisne ab tak khaali apne maa baap ko aur cousins ko hug kiya ho wo bhi tyohaaron aur vacation mein, jahan hello ke naam pe sirf do ungliyan touch hoti ho. Sochiye uski kya halat hui hogi jab baari baari se 3 ladkiyon ne us se aake sirf haath hi nahin milaya, iske performance ki taareef bhi ki, intro bhi diya aur bye bolte waqt isko galey se bhi lagaya.

Purey 2 hours ki train journey mein ye ek word nahin bola, bus apne phone mein ghusa raha. Waise share auto leke ghar jaata tha lekin aaj he decided to walk. In rain in keechad, even though he hates rain.

Lets see iske dimaag mein chal kya raha hai.

Kya chal raha hoga.. un teeno ladkiyon ke baare mein soch raha hoga aur kya.

Dekhte hain na. 

🔎This is something he has never experienced before, Hmmm.. I see a huge population of butterflies in his stomach. Lets check other places, yes.. heart is beating tremendously fast and loud. Lets check his brain. Oh ! Thats Tom Boyish girl, the first one who noticed him, met him and gave him a hug. Damn I see Violins and Trumpets. Ye sab itna high volume pe baj raha hai, shayad isiliye ye apni akal ki awaaz nahin sun pa raha hai.

Kaunse uncle?

Uncle nahin Akal. His brain, his mind, his logic. Jo bohot der se isko samjhaane ki koshish kar raha hai " Listen! Aye you Stupid Idiot! This is normal in Bombay! Its not a big deal! Zyada khush mat ho ki tujhe baarish achi lagne lagi hai just because she hugged you ! Tere dimaag mein baarish ho rahi hai ! Bahar sab normal hai ! Isiliye tu bina bimaar hue ghar pohoch jayega! Sun meri baat! Random track pe mat ja! "

Par kyunki the butterflies are all Red and the orchestra is too loud, apne hero ki haalat Dhoom ke Ali bhai jaisi ho gayi hai jahan ye apne khayalon mein us Tom Boy se shaadi kar chuka hai.

Damn! Iska solid katt-ne wala hai 

That's for sure, par abhi nahin, bohot time ke baad hi katega, aur iske khayalon ki biwi hi kaategi.

Kaategi Katega ye sab kya laga ke rakha hai ? What does all this mean?

Arey matlab iski buri band bajegi ! Same cheez in Patang and Manjha Analogy!

Phir kya hua?

Phir kya? Lets Fast Forward

• Friends
• Best friends
• Proposal
• Acceptance
• Tum hi meri biwi banogi ( Gaanv ka ladka)
• Freaks out ( Sheher ki logical practical ladki)
• Didn't see this coming
• What's the problem?
• Dating aur Relationship mein bohot farak hota hai 
• What?
• Leave that! We are too young!
• Break Up
• Sadness
• Awkwardness
• Kandha/Kandhi arrives
• Relationship No. 2
• Ladka Super Scared ( Even she will break my heart)
• Don't you trust me ?
• It's not that, I am scared
• Fuck off ( Break up No. 2)
• So on and so forth
• Search for Biwi is still on 
• Social Media Arrives
• (Break up No. 5,6,7,8,9,10)
• Biwi not wanted now! Bus !
• Dating Apps Arrives
• Relationship no. 11
• I love you ( Amazingly sorted girl ) 
• I am scared of love, Just looking for something light
• Something light? I am looking for some stability and a constant companion in my life
• I don't know, I am not ready for that, Sorry!
• You are 27 years old! When will you be ready?
• I don't know 
• Break up
• Kata - Kata - Kata
• Hence Proved

Chamka? 

I will explain 

Budding days - Less Exposure

Later Half - Extreme Exposure

= Cutting Chai

Anyway

Ye toh ho gayi serious baatein, aur khair, pyaar aur relationship ke issues mein toh hum saare hi equally stupid hote hain. Kya gaanv kya sheher? Right? 

Please comment if you relate.. 

Ab aatey hain kuch stupidly stupid baaton pe. Toh life ke bohot badey hissey tak mera Bhugol bohot hi kharab tha abhi bhi hai. Bhugol matlab Geography . Mujhe humesha lagta tha ki Goa is end of India, kyunki wahan paani hai aur paani ke baad sheher toh nahin hoga na floating. With the same logic mujhe lagta tha Benaras bhi neechey hai. Main Maharashtra se hoon aur mujhe lagta tha UP neechey hai. How Ironic? UP is Down in my head. Maine kabhi nahin socha ki paani toh Bombay mein bhi hai par ye kyun neechey nahin hai. Hence Kaafi stupid. Waise main aaj bhi apne US ke doston se wahan kitna baja hai ya wahan raat hai ki din jaise sawaal puchta hoon. Main abhi bhi Canada aur Chicago mein confuse hota hoon. Stupid Max!

Ek aur iconic stupidity wali baat yaad hai mujhe apne bachpan ki jahan Hindi filmon ka prabhaav mere Jeevan pe charam seema pe tha. Shahrukh ka bohot bada fan tha main.

Shahrukh ka fan hona Stupid hota hai ? #Saalebhaibhakt

Arey! Nahin! Aagey sun

Toh meri cousin Poona mein padhti thi aur MTV ki duniya se kaafi waakif thi.

Chhaiyan Chhaiyan gaana aaya tha aur hum us pe bohot naachtey the. 

Local cable channel pe " Dial a song " tab bohot famous hota tha jab hum phone ke zariye ek gaana local tv pe select karke bajate the. Us time pe humney Chhaiyan Chhaiyan itni baar bajwaya tha ki humko uske dialing codes bhi yaad ho gaye the. 

Toh vacation mein Didi aayi aur hum wohi Chhaiyan Chhaiyan kar rahe the.

 Didi boli " Mallaika!"

Maine dhyan nahin diya. Main apna naachne mein busy. Next time jab gaana play hua toh Didi ne "Mallaika!" nahin bola. Aagey bhi nahin bola. Phir didi wapis apne hostel chali gayi. Gaana toh phir bhi roz bajta tha aur main video dekh ke sochta tha ki kya Malai Ka? Bohot din tak maine same socha ki kya malai ka.

Why didn't you call and ask your cousin?

Iska toh same reason hai bhai, wohi reason jiski wajah se maine apne relationship issues late in my life apne doston se discuss nahin kiye. Same problem . Hum apni kamzori se related sawaal kam hi puchte hain.

Phir Mallaika ka kya hua?

Mallaika nahin Malai Ka.

What?

Haan! Toh agar aap Chhaiyan Chhaiyan ka video dekhoge toh usmein Shahrukh Khan train ke upar bohot saare gaanv wale traditional logon ke saath naachtey hain. Yaad hai na ? Wo log pagdi pehenke, ghaagrey daalke train ke upar naach rahe hain. 

Aapko Amul Doodh ki ads yaad hain ? Jahan Smita Patil aur unke aas paas same dress code mein log hote hain. 

Haan.. but what's the connection?

Batata hoon.. toh kai saal tak mujhe ye lagta tha, ki meri behen ne " Malai Ka " bola "Mallaika" nahin.

Ki ye Malai banane wale log hain..Aur shayad us train pe logon ke saath matkey bhi the aur baaki log shayad malai banane wala gol gol step bhi kar rahe hai gaane mein.

What the hell! Kuch bhi matlab!

Not kidding.. I assumed this to be the truth for many years. Until Mallaika Arora became extremely famous during Munni Badnaam release. Or may be a little before that.

So yeah! Stupid Me ! Ignorant me !

Damn! this is heights! Urrrgggghhhhh!!!!

Comment 1 : Bhai is best

Comment 2 : Mallaika is Arjun's

Comment 3 : I think Sheshnaag is more stupid #ModiPriorities

Comment 4 : B#0$D007 #ModiIsLove

Comment 4 : What's that?

Comment 5 : India's world record for longest train

Comment 6 : 🤦‍♂️

Lockdown Conversations : Lucky Me!

Covid phase mein kai baar aisa hua ki hausla toota, mera aur mere doston ka bhi. Ab toh 3 se bhi zyada mahine ho chukey hain ki hum is problem mein hai, main bhool bhi gaya hoon ki mera ya mere dost ka pehla breakdown kab hua tha. 

Its happening a lot these days, when someone is spiraling down to being stuck and not willing to untangle things. I have been talking to many people and I hear this a lot, 

" Nahin ho raha hai yaar"

 " Main pakk gaya hoon "

 " Mujhe kaam chahiye"

 " Aur kitne din ghar pe baithna padega "

 " Ho Jaye toh ho jaye" 

I am sure aapke dost aur aap bhi khud pareshaan honge is helplessness se. People are losing hope. Everyday we hear atleast one terrible news that shakes us. Also literal shaky earthquake news is around the corner. There's not much to be motivate about around us. True! Main khud kai baar blank out ho jaata hoon ki bhai ye chal kya raha hai.

Pehle mujhe laga ki sirf freelancers dukhi hain

But I know people who are working from home and I often tell them 

" How lucky are you ! Being Busy is amazing"

Trust me 

Ye work from home wale toh alag level pe dukhi hain.

Maine kai logon se baat ki hai, kuch maan gaye, kuch nahin maane. If I trust my observations, people are looking for reasons to get sad. Maine kai baar unko bola bhi hai aisa same, aur usi same din pe main dara bhi hoon, ki ye kuch zyada ho gaya. When a person is down usko daant lagana, us pe chillana is not the solution. Par mere saath aisa kai baar hua where I lost my patience and was fed up of explaining my friends to look at the brighter side of things and they used to be like " Boss ! there is no brighter side to this"

That's when I realized ki main kisi ko bhi ek hadhdh tak hi samjha sakta hoon ya help kar sakta hoon.

I used to become very mean to them, saying things like

"Look around you ! People are dying of hunger, people don't have a roof to sleep under, people are not getting beds in hospitals, what the hell are you crying about? Consider yourself Lucky that you are living comfortably, your landlord is not an asshole, people are thrown out of their rented apartments and jobs, What are you crying about? So ja chup chaap! Roz naya natak leke aa rahe ho"

After this high toned screaming session I used to legit get scared for them and repeat the same in slow motion with a lot of "Hmm?" " Are you getting me ?" " I hope kuch khaya hai " and then ultimately suggesting them this 

" See, if its getting too difficult for you, please seek professional help"

Yes

Kaafi logon ko ye suggest kiya hai maine 

Not because I was fed up

But because I knew I couldn't help them further and who am I to help anyway? Main khud kai baar atak jaata hoon ye sochte sochte ki aagey kya hone wala hai 

And its absolutely alright to seek help

Those are learned people who know exactly how to untangle you 

How do I know this?

Because know people who have recovered and I myself got sorted with professional help. And you know what's the best part? That these people are helping people Online too.

So there might be a fair chance to conclude that If there have been less breakdowns in Lockdown Era. Its because these people are talking it out with the needful.

These people who?

These people : Psychologists,Therapists,Shrinks,Counselors. Stan Lipschitz from Suits or Shahrukh from Dear Zindagi 

Ye sab toh theek hai 

"Main kaise survive kar gaya yaar?" Main khud aisa sochne baitha ek din 

Tab my sister called me and she's like " Balcony mein aa jaldi" ( She stays in the same society)

Toh 1st instinct after an urgent call is " Meri buri phatt gayi"

Main daudke balcony mein gaya toh superb wala blue sky, white clouds, random textures.

Maine usko balcony se ishara kiya aur phone pe chillaya " Kya hai ? Dara diya mujhe"

She's like " Wo dekh!" (Pointing finger towards the sky)

That's when I noticed. There was this small tiny area in the right side of that sky scene which was not just blue and white.

"RAINBOW" 🌈

Now technically speaking, I am 30+ years in age. My sister is 25+. Her in-laws are 50+

Toh rainbow dekhke hum sab ek jitna hi excite aur pagal kyun hue ?

May be because all this natural beauty is an instant recall to our childhood, how? because tabhi hum kaafi velle the to observe all this.

May be because we have aged, sky is the same ? 

Okay Sky has changed too.. May be because Rainbows are visible once in a while, that's why this level of excitement

Or 

May be because today we have the time to appreciate it, which in usual life, would've been impossible at 4pm on a weekday. 

So that's the brighter side to being at home and this lockdown. Yay!

Mazey ki baat pata hai kya hai?

Wo koi itna bada rainbow tha bhi nahin 

isiliye toh mujhe nahin dikha tha 

ek right corner mein chota sa tha kahin 

par dhundhne pe mil gaya aur smile bhi aa gayi

bachpan bhi aa gaya 

toh moral of the story ye hain 

Ki chahe jo ho jaye 

We have to look for that right corner filled with colours and we will be fine.

Lucky hoon main ki meri behen same society mein rehti hai 

Aur hum aisi random baatein share karte hain

Agar aap dhoondhna chaahoge toh aapko bhi mil jayenge reasons jis se aapko pata chalega ki aap kitne lucky ho. 

Aur ye zaroori nahin hai ki aapko ye reasons balcony ke bahar aasmaan ki ore dekhne pe hi milenge.

Aapke lucky hone ke bohot saare reasons aapke andar aapki yaadon mein bhi mil sakte hain.

Jaise main apne aapko supremely lucky ek reason ki wajah se maanta hoon - Meri Family

Lockdown phase mein hum log pata nahin kahan kahan duniya ke alag alag kono mein atke hue hain,phasey hue hain. Koi Paris mein hai, koi bandra mein koi banglore mein hai koi bombay mein koi gujrat mein hai toh koi hyderabad mein. Aur main yahan thane mein.

Ek din aise hi khayal aaya ki hum sab ko lockdown mein apne hometown Akola mein hona chahiye tha. Agar aisa ho paaata toh ye lockdown kisi summer vacation aur diwali vacation se kam na hota. Wo din jahan hum sab ek saath ek chhat ke neechey rehte the.

I am sure aap logon ko bhi same lagta hoga aur agar same nahin lagta hoga toh kuch aur lagta hoga

But I am sure "Kaash Factor" toh sabki soch mein kahin na kahin hoga. Na?

Haan bhai! Kaash Factor ka sirf lockdown se lena dena nahin hai, pata hai na?

Kaash factor relates to whole life and " What if" thoughts are always there in our minds. 

Par main aapke lockdown ka " Kaash Factor " Jaanna chahta hoon. Toh comment section mein batayiye ki agar aap " Kaash aisa.." ye sochte hain toh aapka pehla thought kya aata hai.

Anyway coming back to Family

Main jab paida hua toh ghar mein almost 17 log the 

Haan 17

Phir jab main full fledged bada ho gaya toh hum 25 se bhi zyada log us ghar mein rehte the. Toh aap soch sakte ho ki summer vacations mein kya mazey aate honge.

" Dost" ye concept aur iska actual need bohot late samajh mein aaya. Kyunki hum cousins aapas mein hi itne mast rehte the. Aapko main ye bataunga ki hum apne ghar mein events aur competitions aur fashion shows organise karte the toh aapko lagega ki main mazaak kar raha hoon right?

Par hum actually aisa karte the, aur usmein humari badi daadiji se leke sab ke sab participate karte the. Iska closest reference agar main aapko de sakta hoon toh wo hai, Suraj Barjatia ki Hum Saath Saath Hai. Usmein Tabu ko welcome karne ke liye jaisa function hota tha, almost waisa same hum har vacation mein karte the.

We used to call it a " Program "

On any random day Dadaji used to call us in his room 

" Beta suno, parson ghar mein mehmaan aa rahe hain, toh program taiyar kar lo"

Aur bus! Humein mauka mil jaata tha celebrate karne ka. Ye mehman mostly

 " Jijaji,Phuphaji,Samdhiji ya koi politician bhi hota tha" par us se humko kya? Hum bachchon ki gang ko sirf naachne se matlab tha.

Politician matlab?

Matlab mantri

Matlab neta

Hmm Grandpa was a big shot.

Ye humko tab nahin samajhta tha. Par dheerey dheerey pata chala what a stud he was. Chote the tab toh hum nautanki karke manwa hi lete the unsey apni zidd aur maangey. Baad mein pata chala kitne usoolon wale the aur samaaj ke liye kya kya nahin kiya. Etc.

So! The stage was set. Date was decided. We had 2 days to prepare.

Aap yakeen maaniye. Hum kisi event planner se kam nahin the. Everything used to be on paper. Games,competitions, dance battles, skits,stand up comedy,etc. Ek proper host hota tha who used to entertain you between two performances. Aur hum is preparation process mein apne aap ko itna dedicate kar dete the ki humari mummiyan pareshaan ho jaati thi, " Khaana Kha Lo!"

Unko humare peechey bhaagna padta tha to get us to eat, if nothing worked, their final weapon used to be Papa Shree. Aur hum sab ko pata hai, ghar ki kisi situation mein agar Papa ji ko involve kar diya, toh maamla wahin serious ho jaata tha. Humare paer restlessly hilte rehte the ki kab khaane ki plate khatam ho aur kab hum phir se taiyari mein lag jayein.

Aisi random family mein paida hua isiliye kaafi lucky hoon main. Abhi bhi, jab se lockdown start hua hai, all of us make sure ki hum minimum hafte mein ek baar Zoom call ke zariye milein.

I used to be shy to these things, but the first time I joined this video call, it went on for 3 hours. I laughed so much,my stomach was aching by the end of it. 

Itna hasey hum ki sab bhool gaye.

The best part is, this Zoom call is like a day in our summer vacations where we all used to sit in the living room and just laugh, talk and eat.

 Akola - My hometown used to be so hot during summers, sometimes it touched 50 degrees. Almost all my memories from summer vacations are from inside the house in that living room. Ek table thi, jahan hum subha se shaam tak baithe rehte the, khaana aata rehta tha, hum khaate jaate the.

I Miss those days! But that weekly Zoom call is the brighter side to this lockdown for me.

Bhai wo sab toh theek hai ! Par ye personal baatein tu humsey kyun kar raha hai aur blog pe kyun likhe ja raha hai.

Kyunki, aisa ho sakta hai ki aap is dauran bohot down bohot low ho rakhe ho. Aas paas koi bhi cheez motivate nahin kar rahi ho. Aapke dost aapse pareshan ho chukey ho. Aapki family shayad aapse duur ho filhaal. 

Toh agar in sab jagahon pe andhera hogaya ho toh apne andar dhoondh lo bright spot? past mein jaake bachpan mein jaake dhoondh lo bright spot? Nostalgia mein best bright spots hote hain, that's my personal opinion. Aur meri bachpan ki baaton mein kahin na kahin kuch na kuch toh match hua hoga, I am sure. Bataiyega wo kya tha. And Remember

 

"YOU ARE EXTREMELY LUCKY" 🌈

Comment 1 : Bachpan mein main ghar wapis jaane ke liye school ki pant mein susu kar deta tha

Comment 2 : Mere Naak mein ek baar yellow colour ka crayon phass gaya tha

Comment 3 : Main patang ke peechey bhaagte hue daldal mein phass gaya tha

Comment 4 : Colony ke fashion show mein mera wardrobe malfuction ho gaya tha

Comment 5 : Main chalk khaata tha

Comment 6 : (Anonymous) I used to dig my nose and also taste it 🙈

Comment 7 : Ek baar mera saamaan zip mein atak gaya tha 

Comment 8 : My teacher beat me so badly once, unki choodiyan toot gayi. Her name was 9-9 choodiyan Henceforth

Comment 9 : I was Modifried today, but this nostalgia trip made me smile

Comment 10 : Modi is love

Comment 11 : Benedryl pi le , Zukaam ka mausam hai 

Comment 12 : Bhak B#0$@^*__

Lockdown Conversations : Cheesy Baatein

Cheesy Baatein Matlab? Random baaton se Cheesy Baatein ? 

Hello? What is?

Cheesy baatein matlab wo baatein jo hum bina soche samjhe apne aap se sochte hain aur karte hain 

Toh Random baaton mein bhi toh tum kahan sochte samajhte ho

Toh? What is the difference ?

Difference hai 

Random baatein aap kisi se bhi karte ho ya kar sakte ho

but cheesy baatein most of the times sirf uske saath karte ho jiske saath aap comfortable ho 

Jiske saath vulnerable hona risky nahin lagta

Jo tumhe bewakoof samjheingey ki tum kya bole ja rahe ho aur tumhe bura nahin lagega

Mujhe abhi bhi nahin samajh mein aa raha hai bhaisahab

Haan thoda difficult hai 

Chalo I will try again 

Cheesy mode jab ON ho jaata hai tab tum ek bewakoof bacche jaise ho jaate ho, actually bewakoof bhi nahin ho toh chalega, but bacche jaise toh ho hi jaate ho. Jab tumhari gehri daadi aur muchch hone ke baad bhi tumhe " Aww, So cute " ye sunne ka mann karta hai. Jab tum apne most childish self ko kisi ke saamne rakh dete ho. Zyada sochte samajhte nahin ho. Ye wo type ki baat hai Jab bachcha puri tarah chutiya jaata hai aur us smiley jaisa bann jaata hai. 

Smiley Jaisa matlab?

Arey wo wala smiley 

Love is blind wala smiley

Arey wo jo yellow takle ki dono aankhon mein dil bhare hue hote hain 

How is that love is blind waala smiley?

Dono aankhon mein dil bhar jaayenge toh kya Ghanta dikhega?

oooo shit! Maine kabhi aisa socha hi nahin tha 

Hmm.. Ab samjha?

Haan cheesy baaton mein inhibitions aur darr nahin hota 

Aap judgement se nahin darte 

Aap thode jagah se sarak jaate ho

Hmm Aur tab aapko sirf wo ek insaan important hota hai 

Aur us ek insaan ki muskaan

Arey aisa sab toh filmon mein hota hai 

Asli mein nahin hota 

Hmm Hota hoga 

Kisko Pata

Cheesy Baatein : Filmon Wala Pyar

Wo jo filmon wala pyar

Wo jo dekhte aaye hain 

Teen se Tees tak 

Nahin nahin wo hollywood wala nahin 

Wo bollywood wala 

Hindi cinema wala

Cheesy Picturon wala

Haan wohi same to same

Kai baar dekha hai 

Haan aur dekhte dekhte mehsoos bhi kiya hai 

Haan wahi jiska Shahrukh bhagwana hai aur Kajol Devi

Oops that sounded very heavy

Anyway

The question is "Is that for real?"

Yes? No ? May be?

Hmmm...

Filmon wala pyar

Waise toh ye cheez, ye feeling, dekhne mein toh achi hi lagti hai 

Par is sey na hum logon ki life mein problems badh gayi hai 

Wo kaise?

Humney filmon se stalking seekhi, Cheesy baatein karna seekhi, Ladki ka peecha karna seekha

But Us se kuch hua nahin 

Ulta chappal jootey thappad padi

Similarly ladkiyon ne greeting cards aur slambooks bharna seekha, notes share karna seekha, bina kisiko bataye karva chauth ka vrat rakhna seekha.etc.etc.

Result ? Nil

Ab issue ye hain 

Ki ladki Hero ko dekhke " Aww" karti hai 

Same ladki humko same harkat mein "Ja" karti hai 

Nahin nahin 

You are confused my friend

Ladki doesn't like stalking,following and all that baatein 

Ladki likes it to be subtle and real

Wo us pe "Aww" karti hai 

Oh Haan! Correct

My bad 

But anyway 

Filmon wale pyaar mein Ladki and Ladka become each others' universe

Ye filmon wale pyaar ne normal life wale pyar pe bohot load nahin daal diya hai ?

Kaisa load?

Ofcourse there is load 

Seeing se feeling tak

Kneeling se dealing tak

Matlab?

Matlab asli zindagi mein violins bajte hain ?

Tum ek ladki ke liye lad hi jaate ho kya sab se?

Dil ke aagey Dimag aur Dimag ke logic fail hi ho jaate hain kya?

Mere saath toh nahin hua 

But I have seen other people go crazy about each other

I have also seen two individuals abandon their world and make a small world of their own 

I have also seen people fight their families for it

Haan suna toh maine bhi hai 

Mere kuch doston ne ye sab kiya bhi hai 

But main abhi tak ye sochta hoon ki mere saath kab hoga?

Ye same to same?

Mujhe bhi chahiye aisi kahani

Tere saath hua hoga 

Parn tuney dhyan nahin diya hoga

Hum log sab bohot busy hain life mein 

Oh Shit

That Race mentality

Aur waise bhi Mobile Phone aur Social media ne sab raita phaila diya hai 

Commitments se darr toh youngsters ko pehle bhi lagta tha 

Par options ki availability ne unke liye "abandoning or escaping a relationship" ko easy bana diya hai 

Sab kuch apne hisaab se tailormade hona chahiye

Nahin hua toh we get skeptical about it

This is not going to work - Ye aaj ke zamaney mein sab se frequent thought hai logon ke dimag mein 

Hum us lamhe mein ghusney se pehle hi analyse karna chahte hain ki ye baad mein matter karega ya nahin 

Isiliye hum "In the moment" kuch bhi enjoy ya feel nahin kar pa rahe hain

Dating Apps and Social Media Apps pe bohot saare log miltein hain in the last 5 years.

Haan! Thats quite epic, mere best friend ki toh uski random facebook friend se shaadi bhi ho gayi hai. Social media is good.

Haan one in a million ek aisa case hoga hi.

Mere opinions is maamle mein thode alag hain. Even though I have been on social media and dating apps, Mila bhi hoon kai logon se.

And?

And What? Good times ! 

But overall scenario mein bataun toh 

Hypocrisy ki haddhein paar ho jaati hai Dating Apps aur Social media mein 

Social Media : Not looking for a relationship 

Live : Will this work? 

Dating app : Just want to chill 

Live: Is this going somehwere? 

Dating app : Live life in the moment 

Live : What about our future? 

Dating App/Social Media : Dont think too much Just Enjoy life 

Live : Is this worth it? 

Dating app : Not looking for Relationship or Commitment 

Live : Ye kaun hai ? Wo kaun tha? Who are you texting?

I can go on and on 

But scene ye hain ki hum sab logon ki band baji hui hai is confusion mein ki humein kya chahiye

Aur jab humein wo mil jaata hai tab hum sochte hain ki ye worth hai ya nahin 

Aur jab wo wala barrier bhi somehow cross ho jaata hai tab hum ye sochte hain ki work out karega ki nahin 

Hmm toh hum relationship nahin reality gameshow chala rahe hain jahan hum faltu mein hi apne liye task generate karte ja rahe hain

Aur is chakkar mein hum wo time waste kar de rahe hain jo ki shayad wapis kabhi nahin aayega

Filmon mein aisa nahin hota hai 

Filmon wale pyaar mein jab pyar hota hai toh beshumaar hota hai

Ofcourse filmon mein jhagdey bhi hote hain 

Dil bhi toot-te hain 

Divorce aur extra marital affairs bhi hote hain 

Par wo jo starting wala phase hota hai na wo kamaal hota hai 

Par wo starting wala phase toh apni life mein bhi hota hain na ?

The first three months? Jisko hum honeymoon period bolte hain 

Jahan sab kuch acha lagta hai 

Butterflies in the stomach and all that 

Hota hain nahin, hota tha! 

Kyun ki aaj ke time mein hum apni life ko lekar itna darey hue hain 

Ki humari calculations starting mein hi start ho jaati hain 

Hum puri tarah apne aap ko dedicate hi nahin kar paatey us pyaari pyaar wali feeling ko 

Humara 50% us feeling ko mehsoos kar raha hota hai 

Aur 50% darr raha hota hai aur apne counselor aur best friend se discuss kar raha hota hai ki ye real hai na ? This wont hurt me right? I hope this dude is legit and he is not doing all this just to impress me or sleep with me 

Ab mera maanna ye hai 

Ki jo hona hai wo toh hoga hi

Agar wo dude kameena nikalna hoga toh niklega hi

Agar usko aapke expectations pe paani pherna hoga toh wo pherega hi

Par abhi, is moment pe jo wo kar raha hai/rahi hai aapke liye

Jo aapke 50% ko acha bhi lag raha hai 

Aap wo puri tarah se mehsoos kyun nahin kar rahe ho ?

Hum kal ke darr se aaj ko kho rahein hain 

Yahan hai main difference humare wale aur filmon wale mein 

Bhai

Ye cheesy baatein bohot serious nahin ho gayi? Title badalke pyaar ki analysis karna padega

Nahin, Title same hi rehne dete hain 

Kyunki mere hisaab se cheesy baaton ke bina Filmon wala pyaar filmon wala rahega hi nahin 

Waise filmon wale pyaar ko leke ek Sawaal hai

Uff phir se sawaal?

Bhool gaya?

Logon ko tere sawaal nahin chamakte hain

Log link aur logic dhoondh rahe hain 

Motive dhoondh rahe hain ki tuney wo kyun post kiya

Ab unko kaun samjhaye?

Ki tu insaan hi Random Max hai 

But Sawaal toh hai aur important bhi hai 

Wo filmon wala pyaar jo hum dekhte chalein aaye hain 

Kya hum wo kabhi dekh payenge?

Haath Pakadna 

Garden mein ghoomna

Bench pe baithna

Hugs

Cuddles

Snuggles

Love making

Kaise hoga ye?

Bohot logon ki toh dukaan hi bandh ho jayegi.. na?

Toh kya wo pehle wala censored Filmon wala pyaar wapis aayega?

Kaunsa wala?

Arey wohi wala

Jahan 2 phool pakadke hilaate the 

Aur Chimney ki aag dikhate the

Kabhi sunset toh kabhi sun rise

Haath bhi nahin pakad sakte yaar

Toh kaise hoga ab ye wala pyaar?

Filmon ka chhod

May be ye without touch wala phase will become a litmus test to get results on Asli hai ya Fake ye pyaar

* Views expressed in the blog are personal opinions. 

Resemblance to any living Name,place,animal,thing is purely intentional.

Comment 1 : Bohot Pakaya

Comment 2 : What is actual love?

Comment 3 : Sweety Sweety Sweety tera pyaar chaida

Comment 4 : Modi is love

Comment 5 : Bhak Bh0$#)*