Crucial testing period in most of the so called friendships is when one of the friends breaks up with their respective partners.
It is not very rare to receive a call from a drunk friend informing you about her recent break up.
So, incase its a girl, most of the times it happens that there is this smile on her male friends' faces, and suddenly they become whole and soul for her and give her all the support to get her off that experience and move on. All this while, they will tell her that being single is superb, she should enjoy life with your friends, etc. But one fine day, they will ask her out, or they'll try to kiss her when she is low, they will try to comfort her and just try and be close to her etc.
I am sure, many of you girls reading this have experienced the same.
Your female friends will help you get out of it by taking you shopping, going for parties and drinking it off etc. But your male friends will keep on repeating, he didn't deserve you, how can someone leave a wonderful girl like you, had it been me, I would've never done such a thing to you. Its bad, you want me to talk to him and sort it out for you two? Mujhe toh humesha se laga tha ki ye banda sahi nahin tha tere liye, but as far as you were happy, I was like okay, she is happy, who am I to interfere.
You see the difference?
Your female friend,roomie or girlfriend will help you out of it by advising you to just let go and move on.
Your male friend (Not all) will try and say such things which will not let you out of that loop, they will remind you again and again that you chose the wrong guy, and he always knew it, he will count his flaws for you, in order to draw you closer to him and hear those golden words from you, " Yaar! You are so much better than him, I made a mistake "
Such kind we will now on address as vultures : they are just waiting for the right time to jump at the opportunity, they don't actually help you out of it, they actually draw you against what you did, make you feel low and guilty in order to trap you into another loop.
Another kind are the genuine ones. Who are actually there to help you out of it completely and ask you to live your life to the fullest. They tell you that no one can control you, you have the absolute right to fly, to live, to breathe... Jo ho gaya hai wo bhool ja yaar! Chal ghoomney chalte hai !
What say?
Same happens with guys who experience a recent break up.. two kinds of female friends, one genuine and one vulture.. though according to what I have seenor experienced, there are less vultures on the female side. On the contrary even here, the guy who broke up with his girlfriend will suddenly become a crying vulture who will gain sympathy and then become the true opportunist and suddenly tell his best friend "I Want You" as if he owns her...
Guys I tell you! ( No offense to the genuine ones )
So how do you know? Who is genuine and who is a Vulture or opportunist?
Characteristics of Vultures
"I always knew, he was a wrong choice"
But asshole, you always kept on saying he is amazing, you are happy for us
" What happened actually? You want me to talk to him ?"
Ya Ya why not! Even he should know, you are my hero and he was not! Bloody F****
" I am telling you, wo mere saamne aaya na main uski jaan le lunga, uski himmat kaise hui tujhe rulane ki?"
Abey Gadhe, abhi bhi main tere saamne ro hi rahi hoon, phir bhi tereko usi ki padi hai, abhi tak ek baar bhi mujhe chup karane ki ya hasane ki koshish nahin ki, bus hero giri jhaad raha hai
" How could he do this to you, you are so good, you are so pretty, you are so CHARMING, I would've never done this to you! "
Haan haan beta! aa ja godi mein baith jaa aake meri, shaadi kar le mujhse, bus laundiya patt jaye kaise bhi haan, saala jhandu!
In short, if any of your friend suddenly becomes your hero and makes you realize that you were wrong and doesn't get you out of that loop, and gets close unnecessarily, he/she is a vulture!
Characteristics of a genuine friend
" Arey baba! jo ho gaya ho gaya! rona bandh kar..."ya man! he is right! why am I crying??
" I am sad that it ended, but I am sure it was worth it, you must've had good memories too, cherish them, don't cry don't sulk, remember it as one of the chapters in your life and move on"
yeah, it was truly beautiful, I have many good memories, he treated me well, I am sure even this is happening for the good, I shouldn't waste my time and energy in thinking about it or hating him or regretting, jo bhi tha acha hi tha
" Chal bhool ja ab, padhai pe dhyan de, kuch issue ho toh bol, main hoon "
ohhh shit! I have my exams from next week, I better concentrate on that rather than thinking about that piece of s***
"Chal yaar, jo hota hai ache ke liye hota hai , jo bhi kachra hai andar, nikaal de ek hi baar mein, main hoon yahan, ek baar jo sab rona dhona hai kar le, phir chal tujhe shopping karata hoon, party karte hai"
yes.. actually he is right! one guy is gone, that doesn't sum up my life, I should move on, I have better things in life to do
_______________
So, what is the actual Band Aid? for the bruises and wounds of break-ups, betrayals, heart breaks?
Whenever your heart gets a set-back either from your close friends, girlfriend, boyfriend,spouse etc.
Talking to the genuine one is the perfect Bond-Aid.
Or even better, don't depend on another person to get you out of one person and move on, because now if you depend on him/her, again it would be like you are just out of one loop and entering the other.
Getting out of one person and getting in another.
So rather than depending on some other friend and going through all this " who is genuine and who is vulture crap " you should just make yourself busy.
Perfect Bond-Aid except talking to a friend day and night :
Do whatever you love ( Make a list literally and fulfill it )
Concentrate on better things in life
Keep yourself busy, don't give your mind any space to think about what happened, the more you think the more you'll drift back, the more you are busy the more it'll fade away...
Get out of it, move on! Don't depend on any other person for your recovery.
Open your arms wide and welcome life as it comes! You will see, Life has so many better things to offer you :)
Falling in love is not risky at all!
But after falling off it, falling in love with life is a better option, at least till you know you have moved on :)
Image Source : Google (Internet)
